Cute stuff

My sister got me the cutest book. It is called "Cute Dolls" (see? I told you it was cute) by Aranzi Aronzo. The book is part of the "Let's Make Cute Stuff" series. It teaches you how to make... uh... cute stuff (I have never written the word "cute" so many times in so few sentences before. I wonder if it is bad for me.)

Yes. The book is for children. I know.

Next to the pictures of the lil animals you can make are captions to explain them:

"Munky is a foreign monkey.
It's not Monkey, it's Munky.
He gets upset if you don't pronounce it properly.
Munky likes banaNAS. Not baNAnas.
He gets upset if you don't pronounce it properly."

"Pinkie is pink.
She's plump and flutters her eyelashes.
She loves pink.
She also loves flowers.
Actual gender and species unclear.
'Pinkie is pink.' That's all you need to know."

Ruff

I found a very wee, cute book called "The Incomplete Book of Dog Names" in a shop on 14th Street last week.

"A collection from actual creatures now living, either in the flesh or in memory"

The wee book contains a long list of wonderful names for furry friends. It also contains a number of quotes.

Some of my favorite names from the book:
- Hercules
- Nutmeg (Hey! That is my name, too! A nut + a Meg)
- Tater
- Hansel (He's so hot right now...)
- Wren
- Peewee
- Ivan (the Terrible)
- Major
- William Jennings Bryon (ok...)
- Mr. Chang (ok, again...)
- French Fry

Some good quotes from the book:
- "I have always thought of a dog lover as a dog that was in love with another dog." - James Thurber

- "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl." - Penny Ward Moser

- "The only food he has ever stolen has been down on a coffee table. He claims that he genuinely believed it to be a table meant for dogs." - Jean Little

Presidential Pooches:
- King Tut, Herbert Hoover
- Dumpling, Lyndon B. Johnson
- Butterfly, John F. Kennedy
- Mopsey, Searcher, Tipler, and Sweet Lips, George Washington

Sweet Lips, eh? ...

I got a present

My friend, Dora, got me a present. A book called "The Selected Poems of Hamster." On the first page:

"The Characters:
Hamster, and Other Hamster."

Hamster writes lovely, emo poems for Other Hamster. Excerpts:

Scratching both my ears
with both my paws.
Itchy morning.

Unable to sleep. What
did we do so wrong
to lose our tails?
Night drips away
like the faucet.

.....

"Are you writing a poem
about me?
No?
Because I could say
some more things in French,
oui."

Her rumpled fur
her stirrings
not far
We are both on the wind.

.....

Spoken with authority
but somehow empty
and she knows it.

There was an ark?
Who was there?
Give me terms, give me
specifics.
.....

Quick nose
quicker than the eyes
changes everything.

I appropriate the dish
then the wheel, unable
to explain my need to
make a point.

.....

The voracious
imagination does nothing
with the earthen bowl
or the pellets.

The biological imperative
to skip about.

- (c) Carlos Blackburn, 2008.
Published by Ugly Duckling Presse

The Midland Hamster Society

<--- Happy, happy me!

Today, I was happy to find that the May issue of the Midland Hamster Society's journal (and I use the term "journal" loosely) had finally arrived in the mail. It is their diamond jubilee year, apparently.

This issue begins with an article (and I use that term loosely, too) on Rex Syrians, which includes the sub-headings, "Showing Rex," "Breeding Rex," "The myth of the 'Rare Rex'," and "When is a Rex not a Rex?" (I swear to Pastina, this is the truth.)

The issue also includes a piece titled, "Fool-Proof - But the Hamster is No Fool!" about a cheeky hamster (a "female Golden") who decides to "use her drinking pot as foundation for her nest." The author writes: "I objected, and put it back. She objected and built it into her nest again. And so on..." Oh, the suspense.

A Recommendation

I highly recommend The True Meaning of Smekday, by Adam Rex. It is entertaining reading peppered with cats (!). Lots of cats (!). That's all I'm going to say. Because I don't want to ruin it, even though I sort of do.


If you require more persuasion, please click these links:
- Someone with a "von" in their name likes it at The NYTimes
- These puppets speak for themselves

If you are truly skeptical and are thinking "I do not generally like your links. They won't persuade me. Why don't you stop being so lazy and express to me, yourself, how much you are a fan of this book," then please look below:

This is a stuffed animal boov (a boov is a benign alien). His name is J.Lo, and he is the main character in The True Meaning of Smekday. There. See? I spent many hours sewing this. All because I like the book. A lot.